ANNA IN THE TROPICS:     
                     From the "Broadway Abridged Shorts" Archives
                                                            By Gil Varod
                                      


            SCENE: THE ROYALE THEATRE

                                   Nilo Cruz enters.

                                   PLAYWRIGHT NILO CRUZ
            I really, really like "Anna Karenina".

                                   He DOES.

                                   PLAYWRIGHT NILO CRUZ
            I'm going to fill my entire play with constant references and
            parallels to Anna Karenina.

                                   THE MAJORITY OF ANY GIVEN
                                   AUDIENCE WATCHING THE PLAY
            Uh... I never read Anna Karenina, so I don't understand
            what's going on.

                                   PULITZER PRIZE COMMITTEE
            That's okay, apparently we're really huge Tolstoy fans!

                                   Pulitzer Prize Committee gives Cruz the
                                   award.

                                   OTHER SHOWS THIS SEASON THAT
                                   WEREN'T SO DEATHLY BORING
                                   WHEN STAGED
            Collective sigh...

                                   BLACKOUT.