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> The Scripts:
Updated 3.08.2010
101 Dalmatians
Updated 12.09.2009
South Pacific Abridged
Updated 12.02.2009
Wishful Drinking: Abridged
Updated 11.30.2009
Hair: Abridged
Updated 11.24.2009
Fela! Abridged
Updated 11.16.2009
Ragtime: Abridged
Updated 11.13.2009
Superior Donuts: Abridged
Updated 11.12.2009
RADIO VERSION: West Side Story
Updated 11.09.2009
A Steady Rain: Abridged
Updated 10.22.2009
Shrek: Abridged
Updated 10.13.2009
Oleanna: Abridged
Updated 9.17.2009
Othello: Abridged
Updated 7.08.2009
The Phantom of the Opera: Abridged
Updated 6.24.2009
Blithe Spirit: Tweeted
Updated 6.22.2009
Next To Normal: Abridged
Updated 6.17.2009
RADIO VERSION: The Little Mermaid
Updated 6.08.2009
The 2009 Tony Awards: ABRIDGED
Updated 6.06.2009
Rock of Ages: Abridged
Updated 5.31.2009
Exit the King: Abridged
Updated 5.30.2009
Rent: Abridged
Updated 5.13.2009
West Side Story: Abridged
Updated 12.11.2008
Road Show / Bounce / Gold / Wise Guys: All Abridged
Updated 9.21.2008
Equus: Abridged
Updated 7.24.2008
RADIO VERSION: Spring Awakening
Updated 7.02.2008
RADIO VERSION: Les Miserables
Updated 1.05.2008
Young Frankenstein: Abridged
Updated 1.03.2008
August: Osage County: Abridged
Updated 12.28.2007
The Little Mermaid: Abridged
Updated 10.25.2007
Rock n' Roll: Abridged
Updated 8.08.2007
RADIO VERSION: Chorus Line
Updated 8.07.2007
Les Miserables: Abridged
Updated 6.13.2007
RADIO VERSION: Wicked
Updated 5.23.2007
110 in the Shade: Abridged
Updated 5.04.2007
Legally Blonde: Abridged
Updated 4.22.2007
LoveMusik: Abridged
Updated 3.17.2007
A Chorus Line: Abridged
Updated 12.11.2006
Spring Awakening: Abridged
Updated 10.02.2005
In My Life: Abridged
Updated 6.20.2005
The Glass Menagerie: Abridged
Updated 5.19.2005
A Streetcar Named Desire: Abridged
Updated 5.02.2005
The Audience: Abridged
Hurly Burly: Abridged
Updated 4.16.2005
The Light in the Piazza: Abridged
Updated 3.24.2005
Dessa Rose: Abridged
Updated 3.17.2005
Spamalot: Abridged
Updated 3.03.2005
Dirty Rotten Scoundrels: Abridged
Updated 2.05.2005
Good Vibrations: Abridged
Pacific Overtures: Abridged
Harvey Fierstein in Fiddler
Updated 2.02.2005
Little Women: Abridged
Updated 11.22.2004
La Cage Aux Folles: Abridged
The Woman In White: Abridged
Updated 10.04.2004
Brooklyn: Abridged
Updated 8.27.2004
Dracula: Abridged
Updated 8.23.2004
The Frogs: Abridged
Updated 5.06.2004
Caroline, or Change: Abridged
Golda's Balcony: Abridged
Updated 4.18.2004
Assassins: Abridged
Updated 4.12.2004
The Mousetrap: Abridged
Updated 3.04.2004
Wicked: Abridged
Anna In The Tropics: Abridged
Updated 2.21.2004
Fiddler on the Roof Revival: Abridged
Updated 1.30.2004
Thoroughly Modern Millie: Abridged
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                               BLITHE SPIRIT: TWEETED
                           A @BwayAbridged Script. Sorta.
                                                          By Gil Varod





    
 
RupertEverett OMG guys Angela Lansbury's gonna tell fortunes.
JayneAtkinson Xcept we think she iz a quack! Wanna come?
WalterCronkitesDtrInLaw I can haz attend?
SimonJones I also can haz attend?
OldAndWith5Tonys is having a cucumber sandwich. THE BEST!
SimonJones hey did u knows I was @ in Hitchhikers on BBC radio n TV?! its true!
OldAndWith5Tonys I iz gonna contact dead ppl k? small child helps.
OldAndWith5Tonys also grammofone. I heart grammofone!
JayneAtkinson lol @, ur dance is totes hilarious.
OldAndWith5Tonys hey, can everyone hear da dead ppl banging on table, from seance?
JaneAtkinson yup we all did! so howc'm we still don't believe u is rly fortune tellr, @?
OldAndWith5Tonys oh I dunno. I is gunna dance more ok?
is now following your updates on Twitter. You may follow DeadCrstnEbersl by clicking on the follow button on their profile.
RupertEverett no! She iz my DED WIFE!
JayneAtkinson WTF?
RupertEverett Follow @!
JayneAtkinson @ Twitter says user not exist. FailWhale mebbe?
RupertEverett @ no 4 serius she gotz an account!
OldAndWith5Tonys guyz howcome I dont gots more linesssss
DeadCrstneEbersl @ omg I missed you!
RupertEverett @ I swer she's there! Look!
DeadCrstneEbersl ok i'll move stuff n make it fly around
JayneAtkinson holyshit stuff iz flyingz! i dunnah believe
OldAndWith5Tonys come on gimme more linesssssssssss
RupertEverett @ when u died u were rly young howcome now u not young now?
DeadCrstneEbersl @ dat wuz many years ago. i iz older now.
RupertEverett @ But @ was talking to little girl. lil girl not growd up. I thought dead dont age.
RupertEverett iz confoosed.
DeadCrstneEbersl mebbe i iz too old for part? i iz funny tho.
RupertEverett @ totes!
OldAndWith5Tonys more linesssssssssss or i dunnah get a tony! :(
DeadCrstneEbersl can I sing when curtain iz down?
RupertEverett @ ok!
JayneAtkinson @ howcome @ came back frm dead?
OldAndWith5Tonys @ cuz someone wanted her come back frm dead! maybe @?
RupertEverett No is not me! I dunnah want @ here!
JayneAtkinson @ U don't look like you dunnah want her here. u don't look upset @ all! RU lying or RU just crappy acting?
RupertEverett @ mebbe boff? heh heh
DeadCrstneEbersl @ where went @?
RupertEverett @ she's took car. vroom vroom. y u ask?
DeadCrstneEbersl OMG I wanted u ded cuz I was lonely! insted i killd @!
OldAndWith5Tonys Dead person killed living person? WTF?
RupertEverett my wife died, but still i iz so calm. i gonna go nap nap.
SimonJones # @ @ @ @ @.
OldAndWith5Tonys From ud never know dis is dark comedy about bimbo blonde coming back frm dead who wants 2 kill hr husband cuz shes lonely.
OldAndWith5Tonys marketing FAIL.
THE_REAL_SHAQ It takes 2 to make the things go right Bun ba bun bun It takes 2 to make it outta sight Ba ba bun bun Rob base
DeadJayneAtknsn I change my twitter name. S'ok, Twitter updates follow 4 u!
RupertEverett @ howcome @ here now? :(
OldAndWith5Tonys @ i think @ here cuz you want her here. can't tell. mebbe if u acted harder?
RupertEverett @ I CAN SHOUT RLLY LOUD ALLOFSUDDEN IS THAT GOOD ACTING?
OldAndWith5Tonys @ no.
DeadJayneAtknsn i wanna go to dead ppl world.
DeadCrstneEbersl @ me too! looks awesome. but how we leave?
OldAndWith5Tonys @ @ We need find person who made u 2 come here. o hallo @
RupertEverett was not me!
RandomServant o it was me. lol i bumped into table.
DeadCrstneEbersl wtf deux ex machina
OldAndWith5Tonys OK now I blocked @ @
RupertEverett Me too! I iz gonna go vacationz k?
DeadCrstneEbersl I is angry! I gunna shake bookcases!
DeadJayneAtknsn o me too. I gunna drop Chandelier.
DeadRprtEverett I changed my twitter name. S'ok, Twitter updates follow 4 u!
Chandelier nono I only droppd 2 feet is ok.
RupertEverett @ oh my bad i thought u was gonna kill me
OprahInMyPants Woke up smiling. Hugh Jackman is on Friday live in my pants with us!
RupertEverett hey everyone change ur profile pic purple 4 my 2 ded wifes!
WalterCronkitesDtrInLaw everyone change ur profile pic purple 4 @'s 2 ded wifes!
SimonJones everyone change ur profile pic purple 4 @'s 2 ded wifes!
OldAndWith5Tonys ugh howcome its not working
Twitter will be down for maintenance for the next hour. Again. Regardless of the fact that we are the biggest thing on this side of the internet, we still cannot get our shit together.
BroadwayAbridged.com © Gil Varod. All rights reserved.
E-mail gil{at}broadwayabridged{dot}com.  [home]
 

Oedipus for Kids. A hysterical 3-person musical from the writers of Broadway Abridged. Performance rights now available.

"A spoof of children’s theater with some truly funny songs and endearingly loopy performances from a cast of just three."

Charles Isherwood
The New York Times

"Patterson and Varod’s book captures a Christopher Durang-like sensibility that is infectiously entertaining. Varod and Saferstein’s score is a total treat, too."

Joe Tropia
Broadway.com