I get a lot of the same questions, so I thought posting a FAQ with some of the e-mails I've gotten. If you have a question/comment of your own, don't hesitate to e-mail me: {gil}[at]{broadwayabridged}[dot]{com}.

FAQ

What is this?

This is Broadway Abridged. In the end of 2003, after seeing a few musicals that begged the question, who the hell put this stuff on and how can they not realize how easily fixable some of these crap pieces are...

Sorry... run on sentence there.

After that, I thought, "Maybe I can explain what's wrong with these shows and try to provide some of the entertainment the shows didn't!". So hopefully I have.

Was wondering if there was any way me and some others back at the broadwayworld.com boards could see some older scripts that aren't on the site anymore, or if there is an online archive somewhere???

Common question. Apparently people think there's more than what you see on the left nav.

I actually began the website in January of 2004 with the intention of abridging the Broadway shows I saw from there on end (I pretty much abridge the production, not the show itself). Any shows from before then weren't abridged. Sorry! Eventually I'll abridge some classics (I'm halfway through a "Les Mis Celebrity Edition", for example), but I seem to not have the time..

Dude, I think you do good work, but I have to ask...do you like ANYTHING??? Just wondering.

Another common one... to be fair, I try to treat every show the same regardless of how much I liked it. As far as the musicals I abridged, I particularly liked Dirty Rotten Scoundrels and Assassins. Dirty Rotten Scoundrels is (to me) a solid show that has sharp humor. Assassins is just very clever, and I'm a huge Sondheim fan.

Exactly what musicals do you LIKE? You come off as being very harsh on certain performances/books/scores/lyrics/staging, etc...things that even I might not have noticed or really cared to comment on. What are you looking for to be able to classify it as a "good" or "great" show? And which are your favorites?

I'd say I like things with a good story that is told in a way that doesn't seem to insult the audience. Dance and music should support the story. It should either be entertaining in a way that doesn't illicit groans, or perhaps intelligent. Anything that appeals to the obnoxious, nose-in-the-air theatre snob in me.

Also, nudity. I love nudity. Although "nakedity" sounds so much more fun.

It's quite easy to poke fun at ANY show... but I was wondering... Is there are any shows that you wouldn't even touch because they were so good? Like any classics that you just wouldn't make fun of?

If what you're asking is, "is any show too sacred to touch?", then nope. I'd say any "drama" or "serious" show is parody-able. The only exception I can think of was when I saw "Frozen", a play about child molestation. I couldn't make light of a subject like that and I wasn't going to pretend to try. I'm tasteless, but hopefully not that .

Now if the question is about some shows being actually unparody-able, I'd say some comedies sorta fit that. Producers and Avenue Q would be hard to do, but the real reason I haven't attempted them is because I haven't seen either since I began the site. Although it's the same reason that the Dirty Rotten Scoundrels abridge sucks so much. 

Just out of curiousity...what did you REALLY think of "Wicked"?

I think it's an okay show. It's not awful. I just think it's overrated and with another workshop could have had some of the songs make more sense and much of the book a bit cleaner. Wicked very well may be what had me starting this site; because even though Millie went up first, Wicked was the first one that I started writing because I couldn't figure out what the heck that green bottle stuff was. (I still can't)

I live in New York. I never understood why the Marquis is hidden like a nuclear secret.

I KNOW!

Your "Woman In White" abridge... I actually paid to sit through that show in London. Paid. Paid money. I think reading your version was like therapy. I'm having a breakthrough. Thank you.

Glad to hear it. Sometimes, writing them is therapy for myself. I hope I can share with others this.

I live in New Zealand, however not having seen many of the shows you write about doesn't detract from the hilarity of reading your work.

I'd like to think that this website serves as a sort of a replacement for people not getting to see a show...

But eventually I learned that I just don't buy that. That's like watching Austin Powers 1 and not having ever heard of James Bond.

Come on, I don't believe for a moment that every e-mail you get is positive.

Well, yeah. Sometimes they're negative too. Often the negative ones are "oh my god I can't believe you dared made fun of wicked its the greatest show every okay well it's the only play I've seen but it's still the greatest ever and how dare you make fun of it you suck!" And then sometimes I get constructive criticism, which usually doesn't seem to have any backup. Things like:

I must say that I was dissappointed with Wicked Abridged. I mean, I am a big fan of the show [first explaining I am 18 and not 12] but I do see that there are problems with it. I thought your script was way to harsh for a show whose obvious purpose was entertainment. Remember, cheap shots aren't as funny as witty remarks that are ORIGINAL!"

See, that makes no sense to me, because every show has some purpose of entertaining, so does that mean it's not okay to be harsh to any art form that intended entertainment and (in somebody's eyes) failed?

Also, I think cheap shots are tons-o-fun! To further prove my point, Idina Menzel has a silly nose.

I wanna see the abridges for these shows: All shook up...

I do see a lot of shows. I own about 150 playbills. But sometimes I just don't want to see a show and you won't see an abridge of it. I'd say that I'll abridge it if you buy me a ticket, but it's not even a money issue.

Like I didn't see Good Vibrations... I'm sure it was ripe for abridgement, but I remember how painful it was re-living Dracula just so I could abridge it, and I don't wanna do that again.

You could work for Forbidden Broadway.

No I can't. Gerard Alessandrini is a good man and does his job damned well.

You are a ripoff of Forbidden Broadway.

Yes I am. Gerard Alessandrini is a good man and does his job damned well.

All the best with the website. Not sure if your site is making things better or worse!

It's a conundrum. On one hand, you kinda want people to stop accepting jukebox musicals and other crap on Broadway stages.

On the other hand, if something keeps Broadway attendance up...