GOLDA'S BALCONY:
                     From the "Broadway Abridged Shorts" Archives
                                                            By Gil Varod
                                      




            SCENE: HELEN HAYES THEATRE

                                   Enter TOVAH FELDSHUH with uglier nose.

                                   TOVAH FELDSHUH
            I'm Golda Meir, and I'm going to tell you about my life.

                                   AUDIENCE
            Oyveysmirdt, she's gonna do Golda.  Shush, let the voman
            speak.

                                   TOVAH FELDSHUH speaks in a Milwaukee
                                   accent for two hours while powerpoint
                                   slides display in the background.

                                   SOLO NON-JEW IN AUDIENCE
                          (confused)
            I... uh... I must've walked into the wrong theatre...

                                   BLACKOUT.