August 2011 Archives

Broadway Pizza: Slice 2

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I've been getting requests lately to update my list of Two Boots Pizza's new pizza styles.  In case you need a refresher: Two Boots Pizza on ninth avenue started offering monthly pizzas based on Broadway shows.  I've got the scoop on some of the pies they'll be offering in the coming months.

SISTER ACT PIZZA: Basic tomato sauce with slices of imported holy swiss, and that's all fine and good.  But the guy at the register is apparently surprised that more people don't order it based on his wild assumption that everybody remembers and deeply loves this one slice of it that they had like 20 years ago.

ANYTHING GOES PIZZA: The first half of this pie is topped with something blue and you don't know what it is but it's delicious!  
The second half, you realize the blue stuff was always mold.

BOOK OF MORMON PIZZA: Drizzled with high-pedigree truffle oil--and priced accordingly.  But the secret selling point of this pizza is that they don't have the capacity to make as many slices of this pizza as the others, just so they can claim they're always sold out.

CATCH ME IF YOU CAN PIZZA: Well, it used to be served up by a Jewish guy, and came cheeseless & topped with kosher pastrami.  But for some reason it's now topped with cheese, and the pastrami has been replaced with Vegas-buffet-style Shrimp Cocktails.

HAIR PIZZA: Sauceless!  Cheeseless!  Zero toppings!  But you can barely tell because they make you enjoy it in a dimly-lit room.

ADDAMS FAMILY PIZZA: An assortment of topping styles that really don't go well with pizza, served on a crust so overcooked it's mealy.  It's a shame too, because now no other pizza place will ever get to sign a deal to make what could have been a *good* Addams Family pizza.

HOW TO SUCCEED PIZZA: The pizza with that award-winning sauce you loved while growing up, now without the award winning sauce.  With British Stilton cheese, served on the mini-est bagel you've ever seen.

MEMPHIS PIZZA: Skip it.  It's now available in the Netflix frozen pizza section for you to bake at home.

SPIDER-MAN PIZZA: Topped with rusty nails, used band-aids, and pretentious chèvre.  Choose to add rotting leftover lion meat for an additional few billion.

WAR HORSE PIZZA: It's technically not pizza at all, it's mostly fluffy cotton candy.  But watching the guy make it is so amazing!  That is, until he literally shoves each slice down your throat. 

BABY IT'S YOU PIZZA: Arsenic and bleach laced crust.  This pizza will be the death of you.  And possibly the death of all pizza.  

Have you spotted any other Broadway Pizzas lately?

Oedipus for Kids in Phoenix and Orlando

If you are lucky enough to live in Phoenix, AZ or Orlando, FL, you should make a point to catch one of two productions of my musical OEDIPUS FOR KIDS that will be playing.

I love what they've done with the posters.


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And if you're considering putting on this hilarious 3-person musical, or are interested in perusal materials, the very fine folks at Samuel French will be happy to arrange that for you.

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From: Christine@XXXXXXX.com
Subject: Free content offer for Broadway Abridged

Howdy there, I was wondering if we could write a guest post for Broadway Abridged - if you are interested, I can offer an original 500-1000 word, very high quality article related to the site. All research and writing will be carried out by a professional writer (namely, me) and once approved it will be entirely yours to place on the site as you see fit. I can choose a title for the article or you can suggest one and I'll work around that.
<snip crap="aboutSomeUnrelatedMovingCompany"/>
In return, all I'd ask is a subtle link back in return. Other than that, the material itself would be non-commericial and not self-serving. Please let me know if you're interested, and if so I can have your post written in within a week. This offer is open to broadwayabridged.com and any other content-driven sites you may own.
Many thanks,
Christine

It looks like somebody recently figured out how Form Letters work!

Hmm. Maybe I can get her to take care of doing something I've always kind of wanted to do (if there was a way to do it without spending any time on it).

From: Gil
To: Christine

How about you abridge Miss Saigon? Everybody loves Miss Saigon.

Nice.

RECENT BLOG ENTRIES

Broadway Pizza: Slice 2
I've been getting requests lately to update my list of Two Boots Pizza's new pizza styles.  In case you…
Oedipus for Kids in Phoenix and Orlando
If you are lucky enough to live in Phoenix, AZ or Orlando, FL, you should make a point to catch…
It's the precarious return of the Broadway Abridged Mailbag!
From: Christine@XXXXXXX.com Subject: Free content offer for Broadway Abridged Howdy there, I was wondering if we could write a…

ITBA

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