Broadway Pizza: Slice 2

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I've been getting requests lately to update my list of Two Boots Pizza's new pizza styles.  In case you need a refresher: Two Boots Pizza on ninth avenue started offering monthly pizzas based on Broadway shows.  I've got the scoop on some of the pies they'll be offering in the coming months.

SISTER ACT PIZZA: Basic tomato sauce with slices of imported holy swiss, and that's all fine and good.  But the guy at the register is apparently surprised that more people don't order it based on his wild assumption that everybody remembers and deeply loves this one slice of it that they had like 20 years ago.

ANYTHING GOES PIZZA: The first half of this pie is topped with something blue and you don't know what it is but it's delicious!  
The second half, you realize the blue stuff was always mold.

BOOK OF MORMON PIZZA: Drizzled with high-pedigree truffle oil--and priced accordingly.  But the secret selling point of this pizza is that they don't have the capacity to make as many slices of this pizza as the others, just so they can claim they're always sold out.

CATCH ME IF YOU CAN PIZZA: Well, it used to be served up by a Jewish guy, and came cheeseless & topped with kosher pastrami.  But for some reason it's now topped with cheese, and the pastrami has been replaced with Vegas-buffet-style Shrimp Cocktails.

HAIR PIZZA: Sauceless!  Cheeseless!  Zero toppings!  But you can barely tell because they make you enjoy it in a dimly-lit room.

ADDAMS FAMILY PIZZA: An assortment of topping styles that really don't go well with pizza, served on a crust so overcooked it's mealy.  It's a shame too, because now no other pizza place will ever get to sign a deal to make what could have been a *good* Addams Family pizza.

HOW TO SUCCEED PIZZA: The pizza with that award-winning sauce you loved while growing up, now without the award winning sauce.  With British Stilton cheese, served on the mini-est bagel you've ever seen.

MEMPHIS PIZZA: Skip it.  It's now available in the Netflix frozen pizza section for you to bake at home.

SPIDER-MAN PIZZA: Topped with rusty nails, used band-aids, and pretentious chèvre.  Choose to add rotting leftover lion meat for an additional few billion.

WAR HORSE PIZZA: It's technically not pizza at all, it's mostly fluffy cotton candy.  But watching the guy make it is so amazing!  That is, until he literally shoves each slice down your throat. 

BABY IT'S YOU PIZZA: Arsenic and bleach laced crust.  This pizza will be the death of you.  And possibly the death of all pizza.  

Have you spotted any other Broadway Pizzas lately?

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Godspell pizza: Wait, didn't you get this exact same slice at the cafeteria in middle school? Porgy and Bess pizza: definitely pizza. Certainly not a sandwich we're claiming is pizza. Nosirree bob. Follies pizza: Baked once every couple of years in a different part of the country, and its devotees will follow it like the Grateful Dead. Thing is, every time it resurfaces, the ingredients are of lower quality...


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