May 2009 Archives

Exit the King: Abridged

If you ever are stressed, you know what helps? Susan Sarandon.

At the end of Exit the King, Susan Sarandon tells Geoffrey Rush to relax his legs, and then his arms, and his shoulders, and his mind, and all the time the lights are getting dimmer and dimmer and more soothing.

Frankly, it's the best relaxation technique exercise I've ever experienced. If she made tapes, I'd totally bittorrent them.

Here's EXIT THE KING ABRIDGED. (And since I only posted it yesterday, here's still RENT ABRIDGED.)

Rent Abridged

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Rent was on Broadway for 12 Years. For ~4 1/2 of those, I was running this site.

And I'm only posting Rent Abridged now.

So... minus one for timeliness.

This may be...

...the most hilarious, apologetically ineffective New York Times review ever.

A MIDSUMMER NIGHTMARE


Gotta love how the reader review at the bottom of the page is a better review than this "official" one. If I were the Vortex Theater Company I'd be initially amused, and then annoyed.

But I'd deserve it, because NINE MINUTE HAUNTED HOUSE?
On behalf of the Independent Theater Blogger Association, which I am a member of along with these fine folks...

Bill Brown (creatingtheater.com) · Linda Buchwald (pataphysicalscience.blogspot.com) · Donald Butchko (me2ism.blogspot.com) · Chris Caggiano (ccaggiano.typepad.com) · Zack Calhoon (zackcalhoon.blogspot.com) · Jodi Schoenbrun Carter (off-stage-right.com) · Corine Cohen (corinescorner.com) · Kevin Daly (theatreaficionado.blogspot.com) · Ken Davenport (theproducersperspective.com) · Ryan J. Davis (ryanjdavis.blogspot.com) · Jeremy Dobrish (JeremysGreenRoom.com) · Donelle Foreman (thedjf.blogspot.com) · Michael Gilboe (broadwaybullet.com) · Dan Gilloon (onenycstagehand.blogspot.com) · Diana Glazer (lezbehonest.tumblr.com) · Byrne Harrison (stagebuzz.com) · Leonard Jacobs (clydefitch.blogspot.com) · Patrick Lee (justshowstogoyou.blogspot.com) · James Marino (broadwaystars.com) · Tulis McCall (ushernonsense.com) · Jesse North (stagerush.blogspot.com) · Aaron Riccio (thatsoundscool.blogspot.com) · Sarah Roberts (sarahbsadventures.blogspot.com) · Michael Roderick (oneproducerinthecity.com) · Adam Rothenberg (adaumbellesquest.com) · David Spencer (aislesay.com) · Ethan Stanislawski (tynansanger.com) · Gil Varod (BroadwayAbridged.com) · Kim Weild (kimweild.com)


I'd like to congratulate this year's winners:

Reasons to be Pretty Broadway AwardBEST BROADWAY PLAY

Reasons To Be Pretty


Billy Elliot Broadway AwardBEST BROADWAY MUSICAL

Billy Elliot



Hair Broadway AwardBEST BROADWAY REVIVAL OF A MUSICAL

Hair



Norman Conquests Broadway AwardBEST BROADWAY REVIVAL OF A PLAY

The Norman Conquests



Fela Off-BroadwayBEST OFF-BROADWAY MUSICAL

Fela!



Ruined Off-BroadwayBEST OFF-BROADWAY PLAY

Ruined




Our Town Off BroadwayBEST OFF-BROADWAY REVIVAL (PLAY OR MUSICAL)

Our Town



Universal Robots Off-BroadwayBEST OFF-OFF BROADWAY PLAY

Universal Robots



Suspicious Package Off-BroadwayBEST OFF-OFF BROADWAY UNIQUE
THEATRICAL EXPERIENCE

Suspicious Package



CITATION FOR EXCELLENCE IN OFF-OFF BROADWAY THEATER
Flux Theatre Ensemble







Congrats again to this year's winners!
In Houston:
The dual-language production of Aladdin has been constructed so that Aladdin speaks only English, Princess Jasmine only Spanish, while Jafar will speak both languages, and Rajar the tiger and Abu the money will act as translators for the young lovers.
Yeah, so it's not a Broadway-bound one or anything. It's just ridiculous-bound.

West Side Story Abridged

Sorry for the long wait. I had to go back to re-learn a second language so I could work on...



And while I have your attention, why not have your theatrical group perform my musical, (rights now available at Sam French)?

The tony awards continue the charade

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HOW TO HANDLE THE VOITING PROCESS
By the Tony Awards People
  1. Decide that you feel bad for the three hard-working Billy Elliot Dancers, and say that they all deserve to get nominated.
  2. Notice that you don't want to fill up 3 slots with the little kids.
  3. Realize that you don't want to actually promote one little kid being better than the other, because it's bad for the show's sales.
  4. Realize that you don't want to actually promote one little kid being better than the other, because they're kids, and you're not total monsters.
  5. Finally cement how little value you put in voters seeing shows when you tell tony voters they only have to see one of the three of them.
  6. Forget all about what you did with the Baz Luhrman "La Boheme", where you gave a special group award to multiple people playing the same part.
  7. Feel good that you prevented young boys from winning awards.

Studios Pass on Lauren Graham Pilot

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ABC's Lauren Graham comedy pilot is believed to be dead, according to insiders. ABC execs remain fans of Graham -- but the pilot, about a talkshow host who must follow her own advice when her life falls apart, is said to have fallen flat in the screening room.
ABC must have seen her in Guys and Dolls and decided to leave her on Broadway so they never have to see her "act" again.
Check this out:
"Both Boardway powerhouses, the Netherlanders and Shownfelds are said to be interested and neither wants to let the other have a crack at what both acknowledge would be a goldmine."
I always find that it's best to trust a source that can't figure out how to spell "Broadway".
... is now on sale at Samuel French.




Edit: Forget that. It's on Amazon, children. And it's eligible for Amazon Prime.

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ITBA

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BROADWAY ABRIDGED LIVE! (THE CD)


Volume 1: Even More Musicals comedy album available for sale on iTunes/Amazon.