Thoroughly Modern Millie

Cheap Millie Tickets: $25 Student Rush

This is the first update to Broadway Abridged, and perhaps an explanation is due. I see a lot of broadway, and a lot of people ask me for recommendations. So the idea is, every time I see a broadway show, I'll write an abridged script of it.

An abridged script contains the entire show in a few pages, so you can see an entire Broadway play without actually having to pay any money. Or having to go to the theatre. Or even stand up. It also serves as a personal therapy for shows that bite: if I didn't enjoy myself in the theatre, I can at least enjoy myself ripping it apart on the internet.

This site still isn't finished (I'm working on automating this site and it's missing the entire top navigation) but in the meanwhile, I thought I should at least get some content here. Special thanks to Rod Hilton of The Editing Room, which gave me the idea. Or whom I blatantly ripped the idea off of. Picky, picky, aren't you.

Last night's show was ideal for the first Abridged Script. Megan and I went to see Thoroughly Modern Millie, a show I've been avoiding for the past two years or so. It had seemed absurd to me that Millie got the 2002 Best Musical Tony even though Urinetown beat it out in Book, Music, and Direction. I didn't skip it because of that; it simply didn't look appealing. It seemed an attempt at an old-style musical from decades ago; the songs moved the plot of Millie along, but that's under the assumption that you could call it a plot. I'm not against the attempt of old-style musicals mind you, I think Crazy For You was very enjoyable and set out to be a similar type of show.

The Millie Abridged Script is long, and I didn't even get started on the poor songs, the best friend character, the minor characters, the blatant and yet unfunny racism, and... well suffice to say, I was unimpressed. I'm now curious to see the movie it was based on.

Anyway, I plan to abridge a few other shows up here very soon, including "Wicked", "Boy From Oz", "Wonderful Town" and the Lane/Broderick return into "The Producers".


Review: Quidam
There is a joke about every Disney theme park ride in the world being the same thing over and…
Blue Man Group: Revisited
"Is there anything I need to know about Blue Man Group going in?"How do you even describe Blue Man Group?…
Macbeth on Broadway
Alan Cumming is back on Broadway doing a limited run of his tour-de-force almost-one-man Macbeth, and it is a must-see. …
Les Miserables The Movie: Abridged
"Papa, Mister Hooper's camera is getting awfully close. ""Yes Cosette, that's called a 'bad touch'."…



Volume 1: Even More Musicals comedy album available for sale on iTunes/Amazon.