Broadway Abridged Album - Contest Winners

Submissions have closed for the #bwayabridged contest, so I'd like to congratulate the two people who I thought did the best job abridging a show in less than 125 characters:

SOUND OF MUSIC: The family that sings together gets chased by Nazis through the Alps.
MAMMA MIA: Rousing ABBA-scored game of Who's Your Daddy, followed by 1/2hr of encores in jumpsuits stolen from Brady Bunch movie.

Congrats, @PBCrook and Colleen, each of you wins a copy of Broadway Abridged Volume One: Even More Musicals, available to both of you for free, or to everybody else for purchase either on a track-by-track or full-album basis.

Speaking of losers, here are the rest of the entries!
  • AVENUE Q: R-rated "Sesame Street" for college grads, complete with puppet sex! (@michaelmarcus)
  • CAROUSEL: Deadbeat dads who beat their wives always get a second chance--with music! (@PBCrook)
  • COMPANY: Scene: Raul Esparza "I'm lonely and happy!" Friends: "We're psycopaths!" Curtain Falls. (@amgreenberg)
  • DAMN YANKEES: Faust with pinstripes and jazz hands. (@kevinddaly)
  • DANCE OF THE VAMPIRES: Michael Crawford wishes to be type cast forever as a lame vampire. Upstaged by gay vamp son. (@Kalroythx)
  • EVITA: What's new, Buenos Aires? Oh, me? I'm dying, but don't cry for me, Argentina. It's cool. (@LaNouvelleVogue)
  • FINIANS RAINBOW: Cheyenne Jackson in tight jeans. Terri White steals show. (@rowijo)
  • GLORY DAYS: Four guys and a bleacher. (@PataphysicalSci)
  • GOD OF CARNAGE: 2 families fight over whose fam is better. Woman barfs. Props Destroyed. Mobile breaks. Neither wins. (Pam)
  • GODSPELL: Extras from RENT put on a show: the New Testament set to music. About as entertaining as it sounds. (@michaelmarcus)
  • JOSEPH AND THE AMAZING…: Slavery, imprisonment, despair, harems, divination and goat slaughter. FOR KIDS! (@sarahcryst)
  • LITTLE MERMAID: They closed Beauty & the Beast for this? (@rowijo)
  • LITTLE SHOP : They're poor & they sing about it, they make kids scared of the dentist then they're dead & they sing about it. (@JustEllen6:)
  • MEMPHIS: Hairspray did it better. (@butterflyblob)
  • MY FAIR LADY: Professor teaches guttersnipe proper English. She’s pissed when he takes all the credit. But they stay friends. (Cassandra)
  • NEXT TO NORMAL: Just because you're mentally unstable doesn't mean you have to sing like a theremin. (@TheDrowsyKaye)
  • RAGTIME: While there was an abundance of gazebos, 0% Negroes. However, 100% of it was Ragtime. (@TheDrowsyKaye)
  • RENT: You're a tool if you make an artist pay their bills. (@Tiggy_Mae)
  • SHREK: Chris Sieber, Sutton Foster, Brian d'Arcy James, Dan Breaker loses a bet. Forced to play Halloween 4ever (@tapeworthy)
  • SPRING AWAKENING: S&M, rape, abortion &general German weirdness: set to Duncan Sheik, it's totes romantic. (@maybeimamazed0)
  • STARLIGHT EXPRESS: A charming family fable featuring a cheerful red caboose who occasionally channels Heath Ledger's Joker. (@threads_of_gold)
  • SWEENEY TODD: Musical about murdering people & then eating their corpses...but it's Sondheim, so at least the music's good. (Cassandra)
  • THE BOY FROM OZ: Not a short-lived prequel to THE WIZARD OF OZ. (@pavementchaser)
  • THE LION KING: Disney presents Hamlet, with a warm and fuzzy twist. (@pavementchaser)
  • THRILL ME: Boy meets boy. Boy wants gay sex from other, heterosexual boy. Boys murder child. (@Kalroythx)
  • TITANIC: No moon. No water. It sinks. The end. (William)
  • WICKED: Idina Menzel: I'm green and I scream myself hoarse! Kristen Chenoweth: I am upstaging you. End. (@kevinywong)
  • XANADU: Jukebox musical: muse inspires artist to create rollerdisco. Set in '80s. But it's really funny. Seriously. (Cassandra)

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ITBA

BROADWAY ABRIDGED LIVE! (THE CD)


Volume 1: Even More Musicals comedy album available for sale on iTunes/Amazon.