NYMF Review #3: Pandora's Box - Broadway Abridged

                                  ASSHOLE HUSBAND
            I'm an asshole husband.  I'm cheating on Kerry Butler,
            and I know too many insults for gay women.

                                  KERRY BUTLER
            I feel neglected by my husband.  I'm going to cheat on 
            him with a GIRL.

                                  ASSHOLE HUSBAND
            This angers me not so much because she's cheating on me,
            but because I'm disgusted that she's doing it with a GIRL!
            ....Wait, what?

                                  KERRY BUTLER
            I didn't know that you're cheating on me with all those 
            women.  But regardless, It's okay that I cheated on you 
            when you didn't know.

                                  ASSHOLE HUSBAND
            That's right, I'm an ADULTERER but you're SYMPATHETIC!

                                  ALL FEMALES IN SHOW
            Stupid asshole men.

                                  ASSHOLE HUSBAND
            Oooh, I thought up new lesbian insults!

Pandora's Box is one box that should have been kept shut.

I'm sorry, for a moment I thought I was the New York Post.

So an unfortunate thing happens when you write a farce with not enough laughs: people begin to notice that the show you wrote doesn't do that "make sense" thing, which makes an audience even more confused and even less likely to laugh, whether or not they realize it.

Let me take a stab at trying to get the plot of "Pandora's Box" down:

Upon meeting Lesbian Deidre Goodwin for the first time, Kerry Butler is suddenly maybe gay and almost kisses her, but doesn't. Goodwin sings at or owns a club where she invites Butler and her husband (the most adulterous asshole ever, who needlessly says really mean things about Lesbians and cheats on Butler all the time without her knowing). Goodwin sings to Kerry Butler at the club and they start to kiss onstage, with her husband right there. This angers Over-The-Top-Asshole Husband. Kerry Butler invites Goodwin to live with them, and because her Prick Husband is an adulterer, we in the audience are supposedly thrilled by this woman empowerment.

Deidre Goodwin moves in. Everyone argues. Goodwin secretly tells Asshole Husband that she'll leave if Asshole Husband impregnates her (Goodwin) for whatever reason, and so he does. Then they're all a happy family, and Asshole Husband considers doing dudes.

So yes, it sounds like a farce, but the only thing the show has in the way of attempted humor is Anti Dyke Jokes, which are high on Insult and low on Funny. The incredibly talented cast tries their best with a senseless book and a collection of okay numbers that usually don't mind if you tune out on them. And the insistence that everybody can be gay or straight if you meet the right person was a weird premise to build a structure upon. No, Pandora's Box has nothing but the world's sorrow inside, so if you come across it please leave it shut.

Oh crap. Sorry, I'm not the Daily News either.

http://www.nymf.org/show-1517.html