More of Your Stupid Ideas for Prequels

Fine.  As requested, the rest of your ideas for prequels and how much they all suck.

  • Rocky Horror -- The Prequel: How did Frank-n-Furter become so fucked up?  Let's find out, in excruciating detail!
  • Newsies -- The Prequel: Ali seems to want Newsies, but with even younger kids who are even worse at acing.  Never fear, Ali.  Disney will surely be releasing Newsies, Jr any minute now.
  • Sunset Boulevard -- The Prequel: Everybody, thank Michael D, because it may be his fault that you have to hear new Andrew Lloyd Webber Music.
  • The Sound Of Music -- The Prequel: Fine, but only if Baby Hitler is a character.
  • Doctor Doolittle -- The Prequel: Well yes, it sounds magical, until one of the pigs shits onstage.  Then it's super-magical.
  • Ghost -- The Prequel: Really, Heather?  Did you think that the Broadway musical did such a great job at the interpersonal bits?  And the special effects were just "getting in the way" as opposed to "being the thing that makes tourists presume that they liked it"?
  • Anything Goes -- The Prequel: Both Rachel and Sarah suggested this one.  I have no joke here, as I constantly forget what the "plot" is for Anything Goes.  So you could put anything else on a boat and call it the Anything Goes Prequel and I'd probably believe you.
  • Mary Poppins -- The Prequel: A spoon full of sugar makes the medicine... come up?
  • Porgy and Bess -- The Prequel: The slow, 4-hour opera about how Porgy became a cripple. #suchfun
  • Robin Hood -- The Prequel: This is the one I would probably go see, actually.  So long as Mel Brooks writes it.  And it's called "Men In Tights: The Only Other Mel Brooks Movie That Would Make A Good Musical".  
  • Passion -- The Prequel: Because so many people saw Passion, and wanted to learn more about how one becomes so ugly.
  • Evening Primrose -- The Prequel: But... but that's basically the young girl walking around the department store lost saying, "Mommy?  Mommy?"  Which means: Alex, you're a sick fuck.
  • The Drowsy Chaperone -- The Prequel: YES.  Frankly I just want to see the entirety of that offensive Asian musical from the intermission.
  • The Book of Mormon -- The Prequel: I'm in for this one too!  Even if I show up to the theater and find it's just Josh Gad onstage reading all the parts of South Park script.
  • Jesus Christ Superstar -- The Prequel: You mean this?
  • You're A Good Man Charlie Brown But As Babies: You mean this?
If I missed some it's either because I'm not familiar with the original (I haven't seen any version of Hello Dolly ever) or I'm just too lazy to make fun of you.


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