Lord of the Rings Review

I hope this comes to America. So I can abridge it.
Favorite quote:
"Let's face it, if you have the hubris to believe that you can condense three volumes of dense prose into three hours, you have to be pretty deft with your pinking shears."

I have no idea what the hell that means, but it's funny! Fuck, I wish I were British.

(Today's fun fact: I just remembered that I'm actually 1/4th British!)


Ummm. I think it's already pretty abridged, maybe to the point where it reads like one of your own excellent versions. Still, we're almost tempted to pay your air fare to London so you can have a stab at it anyway.
What would it take for you to go from "almost tempted" straight past "tempted" and through to "convinced"?And by the way, I've said this before and I'll say it again: anybody who works on a Broadway show somehow and doesn't know what to do with their extra pair of comps: not only will I abridge the show and mail it to you and sign it, I'll stick my fingers in ink and put my fingerprints on the printed copy. So you will not only know it's me, but can also find out if I've been breaking into your house lately.


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