Broadway is Expensive. Times Square is a pain to walk through. Intermission isn't enough time to scarf down that $12 Watered-Down-Mojito which you can't bring to your seat. And that jerk in front of you is going to give a standing ovation to a reading of the telephone book. Why bother? We give you each of your (not so)
favorite Broadway shows, ten minutes at a time.

Phantom: Abridged

By Gil on Wednesday, Jul 8, 2009 | 5 Comments

+3 BOOBIE GRAB!

Did you know that...

when you go to see Phantom of the Opera on a Tuesday Night in June, it's at 100% max capacity?
the tourists audibly gasp when the Chandelier is revealed?
the guy who does the "turn off your cellphones" speech nowadays really does sound like he's bored/tired/depressed?
PHANTOM 2 is actually going to be premiering in just eight short months, and there's nothing you can do about it?

Just wanna get all our bases covered before riding BROADWAY: THE RIDE.

(Or "Phantom of the Opera Abridged", for those of you who are having trouble pulling down your lapbars...)

Thanks to Jennifer Jordan for co-writing.

YES ALL OPERA HOUSES HAVE THIS WHY DO YOU ASK

5 Comments

franklinshepard | July 8, 2009 10:18 AM | Reply

Hilarious! Although this script really does read like you guys just got wasted and typed whatever came to mind while listening to the OCR. (That's a good thing.)

Tim | July 8, 2009 10:52 PM | Reply

Gil and Jennifer...I laughed so loud at this.

Don't ever stop.

I love it all!

Tim

schizophrenic0 | July 9, 2009 10:59 PM | Reply

This may be your best abridgement yet! Loved the cameo by ALW's cat, though I'm not sure the sequel is such a bad thing. I mean, the abridgement of it practically writes itself. I bet you could write one before the show even opened and you'd be dead accurate.

Anonymous | July 12, 2009 1:55 PM | Reply

ROFL! This has got to be the best one yet! A BTW I also can't believe there's going to be a sequel!

Anonymous | May 22, 2010 1:35 PM | Reply

This is the funniest thing I've read in quite some time. Bravo. It's pretty dead-on accurate as well!
Oh, and yes, I can't believe the sequel is happening either- already listened to the album and it's quite horrific. Some of the stuff that happens seems like it came from one of your abridged scripts already.

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Phantom: Abridged

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