Broadway is Expensive. Times Square is a pain to walk through. Intermission isn't enough time to scarf down that $12 Watered-Down-Mojito which you can't bring to your seat. And that jerk in front of you is going to give a standing ovation to a reading of the telephone book. Why bother? We give you each of your (not so)
favorite Broadway shows, ten minutes at a time.

Golda's Balcony: Abridged

By Gil on Thursday, May 6, 2004

                                  GOLDA'S BALCONY:
                     From the "Broadway Abridged Shorts" Archives
                                                            By Gil Varod
                                      




            SCENE: HELEN HAYES THEATRE

                                   Enter TOVAH FELDSHUH with uglier nose.

                                   TOVAH FELDSHUH
            I'm Golda Meir, and I'm going to tell you about my life.

                                   AUDIENCE
            Oyveysmirdt, she's gonna do Golda.  Shush, let the voman
            speak.

                                   TOVAH FELDSHUH speaks in a Milwaukee
                                   accent for two hours while powerpoint
                                   slides display in the background.

                                   SOLO NON-JEW IN AUDIENCE
                          (confused)
            I... uh... I must've walked into the wrong theatre...

                                   BLACKOUT.

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Golda's Balcony: Abridged

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Classic Broadway Abridged Scripts