REALLY REALLY AWFUL VIBRATIONS:
                     A Good Vibrations "Broadway Abridged Shorts" Script
                                                            By Gil Varod
                                      




            SCENE: THE EUGENE O'NEILL THEATRE, SET UP IN BEACH SCENERY

                                   PERFECTLY CAPABLE ACTRESSES
                                   DRESSED IN BIKINIS
            Look at us, we're singing Beach Boys songs onstage!

                                   ACTORS IN SWIM TRUNKS 
                                   WHO WILL BE LOOKING 
                                   FOR A NEW JOB REAL SOON
            You may have enjoyed this musical more last time, when it was
            called "The Carnival Cruise Lido Deck Summer Song Revue!"

                                   LEAD ACTORS/ACTRESSES WHOSE
                                   TALENTS ARE BEING WASTED
            It's so painful to actually say all of this book's forced
            dialogue!  Dialogue like... 
                          (pause)
            Uh....

                                   Suddenly...

                                   Er...





            SCENE: GUY IN FRONT OF COMPUTER

                                   BROADWAY ABRIDGED WRITER 
                                   GIL VAROD
            I'm sorry, I can't lie... 
            I absolutely refused to see this show.

                                        BLACKOUT.